Unhealthy Relationships: Pt. 3 of 3 // Confusion // It Wasn’t That Bad Or Was it?

Unhealthy Relationships: Pt. 3 of 3 // Confusion // It Wasn’t That Bad Or Was it?

Some time has passed and your ex is but a far distant memory. They are no longer in contact with you but you know all it takes is a small amount of social media stalking and you will be brought right back to where you two left off. And that’s exactly where you bring yourself, only to discover they have a shiny new life and a new partner. They have moved on, before you? You imagine how wonderful life must be for them, you envisage the new partner with angelic qualities ‘putting up’ with all the neediness, temper tantrums and drama. If they can put up with the world of one, you ask yourself why you couldn’t

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Unhealthy Relationships: Pt. 2 of 3 // Unhealthy Behaviours // In Intimate Relationships

Unhealthy Relationships: Pt. 2 of 3 // Unhealthy Behaviours // In Intimate Relationships

Do you recognise any of the following unhealthy behaviours in your relationship? Consider how each one makes YOU feel.

  • Decisions are made for you without consulting you

  • There is no consideration for your feelings unless it serves your partner in some way

  • You feel as though your partner is not always telling you the truth or you have evidence to suggest you are being lied to

  • You are “punished” for having an opinion your partner disagrees with. Oftentimes your punishment may be the silent treatment

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Unhealthy Relationships: Pt. 1 of 3 // Red Flag Awareness // Dating

Unhealthy Relationships: Pt. 1 of 3 // Red Flag Awareness // Dating

Healthy, supportive relationships are one of the best predictors of emotional and physical health. Yet, not everyone is aware of the importance of only allowing healthy love into one’s life. Growing up in a society obsessed with the idea of romantic love, so many people overlook red flag behaviours in the rush to partner with someone without ever considering the health of their partnership. Whether you are currently dating or in an unhealthy relationship this three-part series will create awareness regarding unhealthy behaviours so hopefully you can avoid entering into relationships that are deeply damaging or manage your way out of one with specialist support.

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The Secret Ingredient to Dating & Relationship Success

The Secret Ingredient to Dating & Relationship Success

The love you have for yourself is inextricably intertwined with the love you have for others. Which means, how you regularly take care of yourself can reflect the type of love you offer others. Is your love needy and greedy or is it selfless and unconditional? Loving selflessly sounds wonderful in theory but emotional maturity doesn’t always lend itself to dating and relationships. Imagine those moments when you default back to your learned patterns of childhood behaviour (e.g. avoiding, blaming, seeking approval, “punishing”), how do these habits show up now in your adult self and are these loving ways of behaving towards yourself or another person? These behaviours may be learned ways of coping or…

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Isn't There a Formula for a Healthy Intimate Relationship?

Isn't There a Formula for a Healthy Intimate Relationship?

Do you ever wonder why the same formula you relied on for achieving success in your career does not apply to finding and securing a healthy intimate relationship? When you think of the effort you applied to achieve your career goals you probably think of doing, performing or accomplishing. In my work as a singles relationship coach I empower individuals to lose the traditional mind-set that you must do to achieve. It is not about changing who you are on the outside, it is about understanding who you are on the inside and finding out what is holding you back from attracting and maintaining that healthy intimate relationship you truly deserve. My work centres round preparing you for the…

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Looking to Attract A Healthy Intimate Relationship? Be Your Own Partner First.

Looking to Attract A Healthy Intimate Relationship? Be Your Own Partner First.

“Have you thought of joining a group?” A tried and tested question asked of disillusioned singles everywhere. One of my single friends and I jokingly ask it to each other anytime we feel like the only despairing singles in the village. Yet, this clichéd question holds merit, a group provides social connectedness and can support the rapidly changing landscape of friendships in your thirties or forties. Some of my clients associate being single with being lonely yet the two are not mutually exclusive. It can be difficult to make the distinction between being single and loneliness because such dramatic lifestyle changes can occur to impact your friendships from your twenties to your thirties…

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All Your Relationships Will Feel Similar Until You Do This One Thing

All Your Relationships Will Feel Similar Until You Do This One Thing

Do you ever wonder why you continue to attract the same types of partners? Or, is the same problem showing up in all your intimate relationships? So many people claim they are “bad at relationships” but the question they need to ask themselves is, what attempts are they making to tend to them? It’s fair to say I am bad at long distance running because I have never brought awareness to why I keep getting injured at the six-mile stage to change some of the bad habits I have picked up over the years. The same is also true for intimate relationships, until you develop a loving relationship with yourself and pay attention to what is going on beyond the superficial, you will unfortunately continue to repeat these same…

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Fear of Intimacy: Pt. 3 of 3 // Psychology // Have You Learned To Fear Love?

Fear of Intimacy: Pt. 3 of 3 // Psychology // Have You Learned To Fear Love?

If you have grown up without ever experiencing a healthy connected relationship or, you have never received love in a safe way, it can be normal to feel resistance when love shows up in your adult life. For example, if growing up you were only exposed to conditional love, the kind of love with conditions attached, say you were loved only when you met your parent’s needs - you have learned this is what love requires. Reciprocal love is then unfamiliar territory and is usually accompanied by discomfort to which your immediate reaction is to push back. In this case, the familiar kind of love for you- the one not that does not require any change, the one you know how to handle is unhealthy love…

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Fear of Intimacy: Pt. 2 of 3 // Dating or In a Relationship // Turning Towards Friends

Fear of Intimacy: Pt. 2 of 3 // Dating or In a Relationship // Turning Towards Friends

How many of you recognise yourself in the following scenario? After a first date, you repeatedly arrive at any one or more of the following “conclusions” to justify why you do not want to see your date again. They may range from identifying qualities such as they were just too; boring, shy, full of themselves, mean, self-centred or, not funny enough” to physical characteristics such as; “he was just too small”, to the ultimate deal breaker for many, “he didn’t even pick up the bill!” It is extremely important to distinguish whether the person you are dating can potentially meet your needs in a relationship but do not overlook the fact that your fear of intimacy may lurk behind some of your assumptions…

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Fear of Intimacy: Pt. 1 of 3 // Online Dating // Fussiness

Fear of Intimacy: Pt. 1 of 3 // Online Dating // Fussiness

The match you really hoped would send you a message does and you decide the reply can wait. You resume swiping as if you never received a message from anyone. You put off chatting because you know once it commences you are “required” to investigate every possible “forget it”, known as your online dating yardstick. Here’s a few examples of the topics you may target based on the 4 existing photos on his profile; “if he’s 5 foot nothing, I can’t even wear heels”, “if he’s into the gym we'll never work, I can't stand it”, or, “if he’s into taking selfies, he loves himself”. Each “forget it” can build an idealised version of someone you would like to think exists. If you think this way, you could be accused of…

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